The Telling Read online

  The problem, however, was getting Jay alone so they could talk. He’d come back in intending to drag the man off somewhere private, but Jay strolled away to chat with someone else. Michael waited and tried again with the same result. Damn it! That was one hell of a kiss on the porch, what had changed? Why was Jay avoiding him now?

  Face it, Ritter, you’re no prize. He can’t deal with your baggage.

  No point in arguing that point. Disappointment was a bitter pill to swallow but it went down easier when chased with beer, so that’s just what Michael did. Hurt and confused, he gave up and resigned himself to an evening that concluded with him going home alone to his apartment.

  One beer turned into two, and two into three. Why did he have to settle for a lonely evening? He had as much right as anyone here to have a good time. Pushing his inhibitions out the proverbial window, Michael waded into the mass of writhing bodies and began to dance.

  Chapter Seven

  The Michael who returned to the party only vaguely resembled the one Jay thought he knew. Closely watching as the man threw back several beers in quick succession, he was quite surprised when Michael then hit the dance floor. Gyrating bodies parted to let him in, and the handsome blond danced with the group, never settling on any one person. Jay had no idea straight country boys could dance with such reckless abandon.

  However, others were watching: Angie, who always looked out for her brother, and Jay, who’d named himself unofficial chaperone for anyone incapable of making rational decisions due to alcohol consumption. However, Angie had raised a suspicious eyebrow when he’d returned alone, and her continued scrutiny kept him from approaching Michael directly, though he’d been dying to resume their conversation.

  What had happened on the porch was both a dream come true and his worst nightmare. Sure, he’d harbored secret longings for the hunky brother of his best friend, but those were fantasies. That kiss was another matter. Any attempts to seduce a straight man could only end in pain, physically or emotionally, and Jay had a hard and fast rule against involvement with someone unsure of their sexuality or merely experimenting. Michael might prove to be the exception. If Jay could ease the former soldier’s pain in any way he’d gladly do it. After their earlier encounter and Michael’s subsequent withdrawal, stepping back and allowing some space for thinking things through seemed prudent. He’d left the invitation open, now he just needed to be patient and let Michael accept or decline.

  Jay and Angie weren’t the only ones watching, however. Terry wove his way through the mass of bodies, easing towards Michael as though an accident found them pressed so closely together and not a calculated move.

  Jay watched his sly former lover subtly working Michael away from the other dancers. Caught up in the pounding rhythm and the moment, Michael appeared oblivious. When Terry’s hand none too discreetly slipped beneath Michael’s shirt to caress his stomach, the rules of the game changed. Time to step up and stake a claim before Terry could. Terry only wanted another conquest, and a quick fuck wasn’t what Michael needed right now. Altruistic motives aside, if the straight boy was going to walk on the wild side, Jay would be the one playing tour guide.

  He growled when Terry reached out and fondled Michael’s ass. Michael, lost in his own little world, didn’t pull away. Oblivion was dangerous considering who he danced with. Terry didn’t believe in subtlety, and would take anything short of a slap as encouragement. Their dancing looked more like something Jay saw in the gay clubs in Atlanta than a house party in Cookesville, and he pushed his way through unyielding bodies. He groaned aloud as Michael turned and left the room, not a bit surprised when a grinning Terry followed a split second later. This was also something he’d seen, and participated in on occasion, in Atlanta. Was the guy born yesterday? Someone needed to leave a copy of the Gay Handbook lying around so dumb straight boys didn’t blunder into situations like this.

  As self-appointed guardian, Jay quietly followed them into the kitchen and positioned himself just inside the door. He’d keep his distance and, if the inadvertent come-on was an innocent mistake, he’d take care of matters. However, if Michael accepted Terry’s advances then there was nothing he could do but let nature run its course, though it might kill him. He observed from the shadows as Terry snagged a beer, bracing one arm against the refrigerator door and effectively corralling his quarry who’d just retrieved a bottle of water.

  “Hey, man, want another beer?” the predator asked.

  “Nah, I’m good. I think I’ve about had enough already.” Michael appeared genuinely puzzled by the arm blocking his escape.

  “One more won’t hurt. You don’t have to drive home, you can just stay here.” Placing the beer on the counter, Terry dropped all pretense and boldly embraced Michael. “We have plenty of room,” he purred, lips only a breath away from his captive’s, the suggestive tone confirming just which room he offered. Jay’s protective instincts—finely honed by a lifetime spent as an older brother to six sisters—rose in all their fierce glory.

  Clearing his throat in warning, he rounded the corner just as Terry pressed the beer into Michael’s hand, arm blatantly claiming possession of the man’s body. “He said he’s had enough,” Jay growled, emerging from the shadows.

  “Jay!” Michael exclaimed, jumping away from Terry, the relief obvious in his eyes.

  So, the blunder was innocent after all. The twisting in Jay’s gut lessened considerably.

  Terry, unaware of the change of circumstance, slowly turned his head to face his challenger as if not at all surprised to find him there “He’s a grown man,” he stated flatly, a self-satisfied smile on his face. Jay was certain that the added “He can make up his own mind” didn’t merely refer to the beer.

  “He did decide, asshole. He said no more.” Jay leaned against the stove and crossed his arms across his chest. He clenched well-defined biceps, a primitive warning that he’d become physical if need be.

  Terry’s smile grew into a mocking grin. “This doesn’t concern you, Ortiz. We’ve been over for months. I’m free to do what, and who, I please. Besides, he invited me here, didn’t you, Michael?”

  “What? No I didn’t,” Michael spluttered, backing away

  “Yes, you did,” chorused Terry and Jay in unison.

  “No, I didn’t,” Michael mumbled under his breath. Jay and Terry both turned their attention to the fight for dominance, momentarily ignoring their prize.

  Jay’s smile wasn’t pleasant. “This isn’t about you, Terry. This is about who you’ve been pawing. I’m not letting you take advantage. Michael doesn’t bat for our team and doesn’t know what he’s doing.” Turning to Michael, Jay feigned nonchalance and asked, “You do realize that within oh, say, fifteen minutes, Terry here intended to have you face down on his bed while he carved your name on his bedpost, right?”

  “What? I never!” Michael fled to the other side of the room, hiding behind Jay, who smiled at the unintentional compliment.

  Though no explanation was owed, Terry needed to understand the situation completely. “Look, Terry, he’s got some issues. They’re not mine to share, but suffice it to say that he’s not up to being a plaything. He’s got too much on his plate already to deal with something like that.”

  Terry assumed a defensive stance. “Well, I didn’t even suspect he might be interested at all until a little while ago. Hell, I thought he was straight. Then tonight, well, you saw him, he definitely came on to me out there.” How like Terry to blame the victim. Another reason he and Jay had broken up—nothing was ever Terry’s fault.

  Feeling a hand on his shoulder, Jay wondered why Michael hadn’t run screaming yet. However, it wasn’t the blond at his back that he wanted to send running, so he played his trump card. “I get the feeling that’s what most people thought, including Angie.”

  The name dropping had the desired effect. Terry gave him that wide-eyed, helpless expression that had seemed so endearing back when they’d been dating. That I’ve-just-fucked-up-can-
you-help-me-fix-it? look. The problem was, Jay had spent way too much time fixing Terry’s fuck-ups. The man needed a keeper, not a boyfriend, and Jay liked his relationships less high-maintenance.

  It was very telling that Angie terrified a macho guy like Terry. She might pretend to be a helpless Southern belle on occasion, but everyone knew who called the shots in the house, and they depended on her to keep the peace. Angie Cooper was the law, as far as the Zoo was concerned, and if it weren’t for her the arrogant prick would have been out on his ass a long time ago. Behind his back the rest of the housemates called Terry “Angie’s Stray.”

  Jay dismissed him with a wave of his hand and, with undisguised relief, Terry fled back to the party with a muttered, “Sorry, man,” leaving Jay, as usual, to clean up the mess.

  Angie burst in moments later but, at a quelling look from Jay, raised her hands in submission and left the way she’d come. She might be the marshal but Jay was her deputy, though he knew she’d expect a full report later. Right now, though, Michael was more important. Angie would just have to understand.

  “Sit down before you fall down,” Jay ordered, pulling two chairs from under the kitchen table and flopping into one.

  Slowly Michael eased into the remaining chair, eyes downcast. “What the fuck just happened?”

  Now that was a very good question. “You gotta watch yourself around Terry. He’s not that bad a guy, but he’s an opportunist. He saw you were drinking and…well… kinda loose, and took the chance. And yeah, you were sending out some signals.”

  Michael opened his mouth to speak when thirsty partiers invaded the kitchen. After making half-hearted conversation with his housemates and sending them on their way, Jay turned his attention back to Michael.

  “Why did he think I would… well, you know?” Michael asked, voice barely above a whisper.

  “Like he said, he didn’t at first.” Jay’s couldn’t believe the man’s naïveté. He stood up, towering over Michael. “Jesus, Michael, you were practically advertising out there. Terry just took that chance to see what would happen.”

  Michael flinched. “Advertising?”

  Jay sighed and paced the room, fighting the urge to yell. “You were making it pretty clear that you were available.”

  “I was?”

  Could a brother of Angie’s really be that naïve? Nobody was that naïve. “Look, dude, you’re not in your little hetero world here, you left Kansas a long time ago.”

  At Michael’s befuddled look, Jay explained. “Imagine a gay bar full of men looking for one thing.” Ignoring Michael’s blush he continued, “They’re dancing, or rather they’re bumping and grinding against each other like you were doing out there. Anyway, one guy leaves and the other follows him to the back room.”

  Michael’s startled expression told just how ignorant he was of such matters. Damn it, he really was that naïve, after all. “Congratulations, straight boy,” Jay huffed out, “you just issued your first meet-me-in-the-back-room-for-a-blowjob invitation and it was accepted.”

  At the genuine horror in those big blue eyes, Jay regretted being so brutal and attempted to soften the blow. “Look, Terry is an opportunistic prick but he wouldn’t have come in here if he didn’t think you were open to the idea. He’s an asshole at times, but he plays fair.”

  Blond head sagging, Michael brought to mind a small child being scolded. Jay hated being so hard on him, especially so soon after his earlier episode, but Michael needed to know the dangerous ground he tread. If it had been some others Jay knew instead of Terry, they might not have backed down so easily.

  He took a deep breath and attempted to explain. “Look, Michael, a few hours ago I didn’t think you’d be open to suggestions, either. You certainly didn’t do or say anything to indicate interest, at least not until out on the porch a little while ago. It’s like you flipped some kind of switch, because when you came back in you were suddenly on the prowl. And you straight boys are dumb as a bag of hammers when you wanna be, you know that?”

  “I’m sorry.” It was so softly spoken that Jay scarcely heard it.

  “For what?” He stopped pacing to look at Michael, guilt mounting when he noticed how small and lost the man looked—not an easy feat for someone so large.

  “For keeping you away from the party and setting you at odds with Terry, for what nearly happened. I didn’t mean to be issuing or accepting any kind of invitation. At least, not to him.”

  Jay chose to ignore the mumbled afterthought, though the comment renewed the knife-in-his-gut-being-twisted feeling. He had no claim to Michael, as much as he might wish otherwise. Finally, he sighed and asked, “Why should you apologize to me? Like he said, it was your choice to make.” Even if that choice knotted Jay’s guts and made him want to rip Terry’s head from his shoulders.

  “I didn’t intend for him to follow me in here. We were dancing and I got thirsty. Next thing I know, there he is. I never realized that he’d see anything as an offer. It’s not him I wanted, anyway,” Michael blurted, shocked expression betraying that he hadn’t intended to say that aloud.

  The remark, coupled with Michael’s earlier comment, caused Jay’s hold on his jealousy to slip. So there was someone Michael wanted. Well, that was just too bad because he knew everyone at the house tonight and had no intention of sucking it up while whoever it was paraded Michael around like a prize, taunting Jay with what he couldn’t have. “Oh, yeah?” he sneered. “Well, maybe you should tell me just who it is and I’ll tell you what’s wrong with them and why you should stay the hell away from them.”

  He never expected to hear, “You, Jay. I want you.”

  Jay quickly hid his shock as their conversation was again interrupted. Only, this time, the invading revelers didn’t seem to want to leave and it was all Jay could do not to scream at them to get out.

  He and Michael needed to talk. They couldn’t use his room, that would be too obvious and, knowing Danny, his roommate, it was probably occupied. There was too much of a chance for interruptions on the porch, so that left only one other choice for a private venue. Grabbing Michael by the arm, Jay pulled him out of the kitchen and up the stairs.

  ***

  “There,” Jay said, releasing his death grip on Michael’s wrist. “Now we can talk.”

  Glaring lights flooded the bathroom and Michael blinked hard, adjusting to the sudden brightness. He heard, rather than saw, the door close and the lock engage.

  “Look, dude, are you playing me?”

  “Playing? What the hell are you talking about, Jay?” What had he done? Surely he hadn’t misread Jay’s interest? The kitchen confession had taken every bit of Michael’s nerve. Jay was supposed to be happy, damn it, and kissing him into oblivion, not questioning his motives.

  Arm braced against the wall by Michael’s head, Jay growled, “Wanna know what it’s like with another man? Are you just satisfying your curiosity before you run back, safe and sound, to your little straight world? I know I promised whatever you needed, but if you’re hunting someone to experiment with and aren’t really particular about the who, then you’ve come to the wrong place.”

  “No, it’s not like that.” Michael hadn’t fully recovered from his earlier adrenaline overload and, though he knew deep down that Jay wouldn’t hurt him, a tendril of fear crept up his spine.

  Jay’s expression became less frightening, although an undercurrent of anger remained. Voice somewhat calmer, he asked, “Well then tell me, Michael. What is it like?”

  Seeking the right words to redeem himself, all that came out was, “I’m gay.”

  If eyes were the windows to the soul, his were a pair of sliding glass doors, no curtain in sight. His deepest, darkest thoughts had nowhere to hide as Jay’s gaze bored into his, exposing every secret. Without warning Jay swooped in and delivered a brutal kiss. Michael’s cock grew instantly hard.

  Jay pulled away, reaching down and squeezing the engorged flesh. Michael moaned, welcoming the unexpected contact. Jay jumped bac
k as if burned. “You really aren’t playing, are you?”

  Michael shook his head.

  Jay’s expression grew unreadable, but at least it wasn’t angry. “Sorry,” he whispered. “I didn’t mean to do that.”

  Michael closed his eyes and let out a held breath. If he looked at Jay now he’d be too unnerved to speak, and there were things that desperately needed to be said. “It’s okay,” he said, willing Jay’s hand to return and finish what it started. Maybe it was time for a little blunt honesty. “It’s not like I haven’t been leading you on.”

  Jay no longer accused Michael but defended him. “No, it’s not okay. I knew how things were for you, how they are. I pushed. When you caught me off guard like that out on the porch, I dared to get my hopes up. Why didn’t you tell me you were gay?”

  Michael opened his eyes to stare at their reflections in the mirror hanging over the sink, heart beating so loudly Jay had to hear the steady thudding. “I’m not out and planned on leaving this God-forsaken place before that ever happened.”

  Jay opened and closed his mouth a few times, but nothing emerged. Finally he asked, “You’re not out to anyone? Not even your family?”

  Michael shrugged. “Mom knows.”

  “But not Angie?”

  “I plan on telling her, I just haven’t had the chance. Besides, she’s too busy with school right now and would only make a big fuss over me.” Not to mention meddle in his life, fixing him up with every eligible gay male she’d even remotely heard of and badgering him incessantly about his love life.

  “That’s true,” Jay agreed. “I still can’t believe she doesn’t know. Y’all seem to be so close.”

  Michael loved his sister, but now was not the time for discussing her. Now was the time to get back to the kissing and groping. He pushed aside his body’s demands long enough to explain, “We are, but I’m just coming to terms with this myself. And, like I said, I didn’t intend to come out here.”