The Telling Read online

  Blood rushed from his head and down to his groin, the depletion of resources leaving him speechless. He managed to stutter, “How’d you get in?”

  The smile disappeared as Jay pushed off the doorframe and turned to leave. “I knew I should have called. If I’ve come at a bad time…”

  “No!” Michael yelled, still shocked that the object of his fantasies had suddenly materialized on his doorstep. “It’s not that, it’s just that I thought Mom had left already.”

  Now that Jay was finally there Michael wasn’t about to let him leave. He’d been hoping to get together so they could talk, but with Jay’s grueling school schedule and his own hiding from the world, it hadn’t happened yet. Jay showing up on his doorstep was a gift—like hell the man was getting away.

  Jay smiled and resumed a relaxed pose. “Oh, yeah. I caught her just as she was leaving. So?” he asked, staring at Michael expectantly. “Pizza?”

  “Sure, let me get my wallet.”

  A quick glance into the bedroom mirror ensured he was presentable, but he traded his stained T-shirt for a clean one and grabbed his wallet from the nightstand before hurrying back to the living room. He locked his apartment and followed Jay through the store and out into the early evening.

  I’m not gonna freak out, I’m not gonna freak out. Only a few blocks. Surely Michael could handle that?

  “So, how’ve you been?” Jay asked.

  “Fine,” Michael replied. He scanned the rooftops of the buildings across the street.

  “Sorry I haven’t come by sooner, but school’s been a bear.”

  A motion down an alley made Michael freeze, heart in his throat. A black cat slunk out of the shadows. Michael blew out a breath and hurried to catch up to Jay.

  “You okay?” Jay asked.

  “Yeah, fine.”

  “As I was saying, maybe you should take some classes at Avery. They’ve got some great programs—”

  Bang!

  Fire, screaming, pain. No! No! No!

  “Michael? Michael!”

  Rat-tat-tat! Screeeeeee…

  Bloody uniforms, the stench of burning rubber, Ryan’s eyes…

  “Michael? No, ma’am, he’s fine, really, just something he ate.”

  An arm on his back, lifting, hushed words, “Shh… it’s okay. You’re home, you’re okay. A car backfired. You need to get up.”

  Up? Get up? “Where am I?”

  “We’re on Main Street, near the pizza place. C’mon. I’m taking you home.”

  One step, two step, Jay’s voice, “That’s it, Michael, you’re doing fine.”

  Jay took the keys from Michael’s trembling fingers to unlock the door and then shut the terrifying world outside.

  A few more steps, then softness. Couch. Michael was on his couch. “I’m so sorry.”

  “Shhh… Don’t worry about it.” Jay handed him a paper bag. “Breathe into that. That’s it, slow and steady.” A warm hand rubbed soothing circles against Michael’s back, the heat radiating from Jay’s body as comforting as his words. When Michael was finally able to breathe normally again, Jay’s cell phone rang. Jay answered it, speaking quietly before flipping the gadget shut. “I’ll be right back,” he said, heading for the door.

  Michael jerked his head up, panic clutching his heart. Please don’t leave me alone! he wanted to shout.

  “Listen to me, Michael,” Jay said, as though he’d heard the unspoken plea. “I’m going downstairs to get the pizza; I promise I’ll be right back. I’m not going to leave you. I’ll keep the door open and come back up in a minute, okay?”

  Michael sighed. He wouldn’t blame Jay for running. Why the hell did a flashback have to come now? A clock on the wall, his CD collection, a motorcycle magazine lying on the floor. My apartment. I’m in my apartment. I’m home. I’m with Jay.

  Outside a car horn blew. Home. I’m home.

  A few moments later Jay returned, depositing his fragrant burden on the coffee table.

  “Jay, I’m so sorry, I… “

  “Don’t be. It’s over. If you want me to leave, I will, but I think we should pick up where we left off, don’t you? We have pizza now, let’s eat.” He didn’t give Michael time to answer, darting into the kitchen and returning with paper plates and cans of root beer.

  Michael watched him assume the role of host, serving up pizza and soda, and setting their plates on opposite sides of the coffee table. Forget it ever happened. Yeah. Good idea. “You sure seem to know your way around my apartment,” he said. Tired. So tired.

  “I helped your mother paint and get it ready for you.”

  “Oh.” Of course his mother would have needed help getting the place ready, but Michael never imagined her pressing Jay into service. “Funny, she never mentioned it. It seems strange since she talks so much about you.” Michael flushed, realizing he’d just confessed that he and his mom had been gossiping about the man.

  Jay grinned. “Your mom’s a cool lady, although she does keep trying to fix me up. I know she means well, but…”

  They both laughed, the stress easing. “That sounds like her.” As they ate it occurred to Michael how little he knew of Jay’s family “What’s your mom like?” he asked

  “Imagine a taller, chunkier, Catholic version of your mom. She’s a bit older, but she’s pretty cool, too. She and Dad have been married thirty years.” Jay swallowed another bite of pizza. “Wanna see them?”

  “Sure,” Michael agreed, reaching over to grasp the thick wallet Jay passed over. Flipping it open explained its width, for inside were about twenty pictures. The first one was a group photo. Michael smiled at the image of a younger Jay who hadn’t yet grown into his ears, surrounded by what was obviously his family, judging from the resemblance. Michael counted six sisters, all noticeably younger than Jay. “Hey, your mom’s a blonde!”

  “Yeah, she’s Irish,” Jay explained, a fond smile and drop of tomato sauce on his lips. “She met my dad when her parents took her on vacation to Galveston after college graduation. They went home to Cleveland, she stayed.”

  “Dang! How many pictures do you have in here?” Michael asked, flipping through one picture after another.

  “That’s nothing.” Jay waved his hand. “You should see the stack of albums back in my room.”

  “You’ve got that many pictures?”

  Jay answered, “I like having pictures around of those I love.”

  Michael sat the wallet down and picked up a slice of pizza. His fingers still trembled as he ate, but either Jay didn’t notice or chose not to comment. Coming down from an attack usually took a while if accomplished without the help of meds. They finished their meal while watching sitcom reruns, Michael occasionally asking questions about Jay’s family.

  Jay asked, “Can I ask you something that’s none of my business?”

  Though a bit wary, Michael nodded.

  “Where did you go last Thursday? You said you had something to do, but you never said what.” Before Michael could respond Jay added, “Sorry, I was being nosy. You don’t have to answer that, but…you know you can talk to me, right? I’ve been told I’m a good listener. I’m the only boy in a family of girls, trust me, I can listen with the best of them.” He flashed a disarming grin.

  Well, Jay hadn’t run screaming yet, so Michael answered honestly, “I had an appointment with my counselor.”

  Jay appeared thoughtful, then said, “Ahhh… well I’m glad, then.”

  Of all the possible responses, that one was unexpected. “Huh?”

  “I’m glad you’re talking to someone. I really hated seeing you like that night at the party.”

  “Oh.” Maybe it was time to have that talk he’d been hoping for.

  “I told you that my cousin was going through something similar. Well, he tried to go it alone, wound up drinking too much. It didn’t help. All it got him was a couple of arrests for drunk driving before he finally pulled his shit together and got some help.”

  “Well, that’s not likely
to happen. Can’t get pulled over if I can’t fucking leave the house.”

  Jay helped himself to another slice of pizza. “Well, look at it this way, you live here and work downstairs, so that allows you time to deal with it. I can’t lie and say I know what you’re going through, but I’m here and will do whatever I can to help.” He leaned forward, his warm brown eyes locking with Michael’s.

  Michael closed the distance, brushing his lips lightly across Jay’s. “I want to apologize for the other night,” he whispered.

  Jay stood and moved around the table to ease down on the couch. He wrapped an arm loosely around Michael’s shoulders. “There’s no need to.” With a bright smile he added, “I kind of like how it turned out, myself.”

  Michael opened his mouth and inserted his foot. “I’m embarrassed about how it ended.”

  Jay raised a suspicious eyebrow. “Oh?”

  “No, I don’t mean it that way!” Michael knew what he wanted to say but seemed unable to form the proper words. He ran a hand through his hair. “I, uh…”

  Out of nowhere the gorgeous smile reappeared. “You are flat adorable when you’re flustered, you know that?”

  “I just have a hard time saying the right thing sometimes.”

  “Don’t worry about saying the right things, just say what you feel. I promise that if I don’t understand I’ll give you a chance to explain.” Jay folded his arms over his chest and relaxed against the arm of the couch, obviously waiting.

  “I kinda regret leaving you hanging like I did,” Michael said.

  “Is that it? You’re not embarrassed by the rest?”

  “Oh, hell no!” he exclaimed, surprised at his own candor. “And I’ve gone over it in my head since that night. Many, many, many times.”

  Jay’s wicked smile revealed a slightly crooked front tooth. “Yeah, me too.”

  “Really?”

  “Yes, really.” Inching closer, Jay brushed warm lips gently over Michael’s cheek, then slowly worked them back to his bad ear. He murmured something that Michael couldn’t quite make out.

  “Oh, sorry,” Jay said, pulling back until their eyes met. “Do you think you might like to do it again?”

  “Right now?” Michael reached up and smacked himself on the forehead, causing Jay to laugh. “I didn’t mean that the way it sounded.”

  “Oh, Michael, you poor thing. When you get nervous you really are no good with words, are you?”

  “I’m not very good at communication at all, especially when it’s important.” Not that he communicated that well for unimportant things, either. The women in his family inherited all the “know what to say” genes.

  “As long as I know what’s going on maybe I can help you. I’ve been told I’m good with words. Two languages’ worth,” Jay added with a grin.

  “But the answer to your question is, yes, I would like to do it again, but next time you get to come, too.”

  Jay’s idly stroked Michael’s shoulder. “Are you sure you’re ready for that?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “It’s a big step for you, right? Didn’t you say that until the other night you’d never kissed a man?”

  “That’s true, but I have kinda played before.” And there is was, the embarrassing flush that Michael had never grown out of. Whoever heard of a soldier blushing like a schoolgirl?

  “Oh, really?”

  “Only once.”

  “Someone special?”

  “He’s a friend, and it was more about comfort and reassurance than it was about love or sex.”

  “Is it one of those things you don’t want to talk about?”

  “No, but I don’t want to talk about it now. Now is for me and you.”

  “And you say you aren’t good with words.”

  Michael shrugged. “Well, you know what they say, ‘Even a blind squirrel finds an acorn every now and then.’”

  Their laughter effectively killed any remaining tension. “So by saying only once, you meant…”

  “Only that I’m not very experienced but, yes, I have tried things with a guy before.”

  “And?” Jay prompted. The words held no jealousy or condemnation, just curiosity.

  “It was good, but nothing compared to that night with you.” Way to go, Michael, swell the guy’s head, why don’t you?

  “Ahh… another good answer.” Seeing those dark eyes coming closer, Michael parted his lips and admitted Jay’s questing tongue. Slowly it curled into his mouth. Rather than a duel, this kiss started as a leisurely exploration. A tingling began low in his belly as warm hands slid beneath his shirt, caressing his bare chest.

  He couldn’t remember ever feeling so aroused. With girls he’d been expected to be the aggressor, how refreshing to just let go, relax, and let Jay call the shots.

  They broke contact long enough for Jay to remove Michael’s shirt and toss it to the floor. Then the kiss was resumed—with a vengeance. Long fingers caressed Michael’s stomach, following the patchy treasure trail down his abdomen. Fire shot straight down to his hardening cock and he bucked his hips, seeking more contact.

  Jay grasped Michael’s shoulders, easing him down onto his back, a well-placed knee gently nudging his legs apart. He settled between, grasping the end of his own shirt and, in one fluid motion, pulled it over his head and dropped it to the floor.

  “I want to look at you,” Michael said.

  Jay sat back on his heels, a coy smile playing over his lips.

  Michael’s eyes wandered over the fantastic body he’d fantasized about, memorizing every contour and curve. Dark, curly hair grew sparsely across light brown skin, between firm pecs and down as far as could be seen. An interesting treasure trail disappeared beneath Jay’s faded denim jeans.

  When Michael raised his eyes he saw the question on his lover’s face—do you like what you see? He replied by crushing his mouth to a nipple, loving the way it hardened against his tongue.

  Jay eased down, pressing their hard cocks and their mouths together. “Oh, God I want you,” he mumbled against Michael’s lips.

  They reached for each other’s jeans, fumbling in their eagerness but making quick work of buttons and zippers, before plunging their hands into a pair of briefs in one case, and a pair of loose fitting boxers in the other. Michael had only ever touched two cocks before in his life—his and Ryan’s, and both were circumcised. The novelty of extra skin to play with was highly arousing. Jay’s cock was every bit as long and thick as Michael had imagined.

  Initial exploration satisfied, he worked Jay in earnest, using the well-practiced motions he’d privately employed since his early teens.

  Moist heat found his neck as Jay seemed to instinctively find that special spot that made his toes curl. That hot mouth worked over his skin, sucking, licking, and lightly biting. It would leave a mark but Michael found it hard to give a damn at the moment.

  Jay expertly stroked while Michael pumped his hips, working himself into the tight grasp, matching his movements and rhythm with his partner’s. Far too soon he felt his balls drawing up, tingling at the base. He increased his pace, reaching, reaching, grasping…

  “Ahhh!” Head thrown back, eyes closed tightly, he let go, filling Jay’s hand with the evidence of his passion. And though he may have lacked experience, Jay’s own orgasm, following a moment later, meant he’d done something right.

  He opened his eyes and watched the sheer joy of the moment etched on his Jay’s face.

  Eyes closed, lips parted, Jay moaned and panted, then tensed in release. “Miiiiiccchhhaaaaaaeel!” Warmth filled Michael’s clenched fist, and he milked Jay’s cock with steady strokes.

  They collapsed against each other. Once more mouth met mouth. This time the kiss was slow and unhurried, full of sated bliss. Michael found his discarded shirt and wiped them both down before tossing it back to the floor.

  “Stay the night?” he asked.

  Chapter Eleven

  Bright sunlight streaming through the bedroom
window announced the arrival of morning and, for the first time in recent memory, Michael woke feeling fully rested. He’d actually slept through the night. A vague memory of dreams persisted, but they dissipated like smoke through a closing fist. And he hadn’t woken up screaming.

  He yawned and stretched, then jumped back in terror when his arm brushed against something that shouldn’t have been there. Heart pounding, covers drawn up to his chin, he stared in shock at the black hair lying on the white pillow case next to him. Heavy breathing, just shy of a snore, rumbled from the sleeping form. Michael let out a relieved sigh, barely suppressing a laugh at his noisy bed partner.

  Jay lay sprawled on his stomach, well-muscled back, arms, and broad shoulders on glorious display.

  Last night had ended in the bedroom where, head comfortably cradled on a lightly furred chest, Michael had fallen asleep to the sound of a steady heartbeat. His guest’s presence must have held his nightmares at bay, for the phantom soldiers hadn’t put in an appearance all night. He raked his gaze over the warm honey of his new lover’s skin, and gently lifted the edge of the sheet so he wouldn’t be caught ogling.

  Jay’s broad shoulders tapered down to a narrow waist, and his ass was just as firm and muscled as the rest of him. Although he sported a good deal of dark body hair, the firm round cheeks hiding under the sheets were virtually fur-free. With a sigh Michael lowered the cover, smoothing it down while continuing to admire the view.

  He wished his own personal Texan would roll over so he could see that handsome face, but didn’t want to wake him. So he sat quietly, watching the steady rise and fall of Jay’s back. Damn, but he couldn’t help smiling. He savored the moment for as long as he could before a full bladder forced him to leave the bed and the warm body lying there. He tiptoed from the room and eased the door closed.

  After relieving himself and washing up, he found a pair of reasonably clean sweatpants and a T-shirt to wear. He started the coffee pot and rummaged in the refrigerator, looking for something suitable to serve for breakfast. The coffee had finished brewing and he was removing sautéed peppers and onions from a skillet when a gentle tapping interrupted him. Who could possibly be here at this hour? Only family had keys to the bookstore below. With a quick glance to the closed bedroom door, Michael hurried to let his visitor in. Maybe Mom wanted him to go to Sunday school with her. He’d politely decline and she’d leave, no fuss, no muss, none the wiser.